We progress through this life often believing that our experiences define who we are and how we respond to situations. We may believe we are essentially good, but have negative and self-defeating beliefs about ourselves that we perceive as truth based on previous experiences. Jason Hartman interviews life coach, Laurie Gerber of Handel Group, about eliminating these falsehoods through personal integrity to overcome whatever is blocking a person from success. For more details, visit: www.SpeakingofWealth.com. Laurie explains her five steps to personal integrity, using having more money as an example.
1. Change your mind
2. Find your role model
3. Make your plan
4. Keep promises and keep track
5. Dare to do business
Laurie also talks about the “chicken” and the “brat” in each of us. We can make every excuse in the book for not pursuing and following through with our dreams. They sound legitimate in our heads, but if we’re honest with ourselves, they are just excuses that prevent us from realizing our goals. The Handel Group Life Coaching teaches many different exercises, beginning with what Laurie calls dream statements and moving into purging all negativity surrounding those statements. Obtaining personal integrity is empowering and she encourages people to use this power to change the world for the better. Laurie Gerber is President of Handel Group Life Coaching (HGLC) and an expert life coach herself. Passionate about personal development, Laurie has been coaching individuals and groups for 15 years. Before enthusiastically joining The Handel Group, Laurie owned and operated Partners with Parents, a tutoring and educational consulting business in New York City. Laurie oversees 16 coaches in their work with clients on improving all areas of life. She considers herself “an angel recruiter” because she is busy looking for other people who share her mission to instill more joy and peace in the world. “When all people are living true to their ideals, then I can rest,” she says. She doesn’t anticipate being able to rest anytime soon.
For the majority of her adult life, Laurie has been teaching and coaching adults and children in a variety of settings including lectures, discussion groups, seminars, classroom teaching, tutoring and one-on-one coaching. Laurie holds a degree in Education and Political Science from Swarthmore College, along with her teaching certification. She leads large groups at Kripalu Center, Esalen Institute, Equinox Fitness, Soho House, the JCC of Manhattan and Natural Health Magazine’s Women’s Wellness Weekends. She regularly blogs for The Daily Love, Huffington Post, Crazy Sexy Wellness, Dr. Frank Lipman, HGLC’s own weekly newsletter and more. Laurie’s rigorous yet loving coaching style was recently showcased in MTV’s True Life Special “I’m Getting A Second Chance.” In April 2012, she launched “Wake Up Your Week,” an on-going subscription to weekly live teleseminars. Laurie feels blessed to spend her days (and most nights) doing work that makes her proud and she is inspired by HGLC clients for having the guts to look at themselves honestly.
Introduction: Speakers, publishers, consultants, coaches and info marketers unite the Speaking of Wealth Show is your roadmap to success and significance. Learn the latest tools, technologies and tactics to get more bookings, sell more products and attract more clients. If you are looking to increase your direct response sales, create a big time personal brand and become the go-to-guru. The Speaking of Wealth Show is for you. Here is your host Jason Hartman.
Jason Hartman: Welcome to today’s show. This is host Jason Hartman your host, and as you may or may not know every 10th show we kind of do a special tradition here that originated with my Creating Wealth Show where we do a topic that is actually off topic on purpose something just to do with general life and more successful living and that’s exactly what we are going to do today with our special guest. Again 10th show is off topic, and it is very much intentional just for personal enrichment and I hope you enjoy today’s show and we will be back with our guest in just a moment.
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Jason Hartman: My pleasure, welcome Laurie Gerber to the show. She is the President of Handel Group Life Coaching and she is a life coach, but she also manages about 20 life coaches, and they teach a great program in different locations all around the country if not even internationally I don’t know, but we will hear that from her. And the Handel group is instrumental in the corporate world but on the life coaching side little more emphasis on the personal world as well. But of course these things are holistic. They all go together as we know, and I think we will look forward to hearing from Laurie today about her five steps in just about her coaching successes as well. Laurie welcome, how are you?
Laurie: I’m very well. Thanks for having me, great to be here.
Jason Hartman: My pleasure. So you are coming to us from Manhattan, New York City, right?
Laurie: It’s true, born and bred New Yorker.
Jason Hartman: Great place I love it. Tell us about the Handel Group and what they do?
Laurie: Okay great. Well, the Handel Group has been around for a while, and we are working right now in corporate settings, in private settings, and in education. We are super proud of our work teaching the Handel method at MIT Stanford, NYU, and a bunch different universities that’s kind of where we test things out with the smartest minds in the country, and we also work in companies like AOL and Google and New York times basically doing corporate consulting, developing high potentials, creating honest cultures that something that’s very popular and very helpful. And the world that I run is everything we do is individually human so we work with executives, moms, artists, business owners, all different kinds of people who come to us individually for help with career, their relationship to money, their relationships in general, love, body, health, spirituality, I have about 20 coaches like you said, and we work with people over the phone over Skype in groups. We have a social network. We have — we can retreat — we have combo packages with yoga. We do all kinds of fun ways for people in any budget to start to work honestly on what they want in their lives.
Jason Hartman: Laurie, I mean I hate to sound like a skeptic here, but there are so many life coaches nowadays and it seems like with the economy that we’ve been and everybody’s looking to kind of invent the career for themselves, and that’s great that’s entrepreneurial. But what differentiates you from the rest I mean you know a lot of your peers are I will say it a little bit hokey and you know in a little bit airy-fairy and —
Laurie: What should one should acquire.
Jason Hartman: Yeah I am sure that frustrates you.
Laurie: I will tell you.
Jason Hartman: Because it’s true in my industry as well.
Jason Hartman: So what, what are the — maybe talk about the five steps if you would and let’s kind of dig down?
Laurie: I mean I really want to be clear let’s say I my whole life have been looking for teachers that I could believe in, and I am a personal growth junkie. I had been looking for a method that works and I’ve tried a lot of different things, but I love about the Handel Group is that there is a method. They really are 40 different exercises that seem to work every time that we’ve casted at MIT, and we just keep doing what’s working. We just keep testing new methods so I love that we teach your method. We are not just going from our opinions, and I also love that we require our coaches to walk their talk and the main talk that we teach is personal integrity which means you dare to say what you think is ideal for human beings to do and be in say and then you live in accordance with that in the areas of love with food, with money, with relationship with your parents, right so we require our coaches to live by what they teach, and ten we require them to do all the work on themselves, but they are going to teach other people which means we rarely ever graduated a new coach so. So I’m really proud of that, and we also teach telling the truth which is not popular enough yet. So that’s what I can differentiate. It doesn’t makes me very proud to be part of this method not just because when I start to do which I laugh, I thought that’s what is the dumbest thing in the world because what the heck is life about, right? But when I found the method and taught myself the method and did the method on myself then I caught onto to the special thoughts so.
Jason Hartman: Fantastic. What is the method?
Laurie: Well, the method consist again about probably 40 different exercise, and we are all — we just kind of added new ones, but essentially there is deep reflection on your dreams, your ideals and then what gets in the way. Of course and so plenty of work on busting your own excuses on being able to understand your logic, your bad logic the role of what we call the chicken and the brat which is your fear voices and your I don’t feel like it voices. And then we design a set of promises and consequences for you that are specifically designed for you that are you are perfect stepping stones to getting from where you are right now to where you say you want to be, and that’s where the magic start because that’s the actual tool. That’s the tool for the muscle of personal integrity so when I have my five-steps here in front of me for if you want to start to following them up with money and my whole push is I want more people who want good things for the world because ultimately I’m just — I’m just an idealist. I just want the world to be better. I have kids. I want my kids to grow up in a world that’ just and beautiful and loving and peaceful and safe, and we are not on track for that. And I believe in capitalism. I believe in people developing new things and being entrepreneurial and going for others, and I want to teach more people who want to help the world to want more money and do more good and be successful at it, and that’s what I think personal integrity makes possible. So I have my five steps that’s one of them.
Jason Hartman: Yeah I want to — keep going through the five steps. This is interesting.
Laurie: Okay so the first thing I want you to do is and that’s what I’m talking to you right now is some it’s like yeah I would like to make more money. Yeah I am a good person. Yeah I want to do more of what I love in the world, and make money for. Yeah I want because I think a lot of people think making money is bad. I think they think it’s dirty. I think it will make them not a good person or it will turn them into something they don’t want to be, and to me that smacks of ignorance, fear, and possibly even a little arrogance or holier than thou and I’m about to break that up. So first step one, change your mind, change your mind and I challenge my clients to come up with 10 good reasons for why you should have more money, and this is the creative activity 10 good and maybe it bends your mind. Okay so you could come up with something like well, if I had more money I eat organic and that would be good for me. If I had more money I take my children to see the world and would be good for them. If I had more money I would be more relaxed, and that would make me a better spouse and that would make me nicer to my dog or if I had more money I would give more. I would be a philanthropist. I would give more to causes I believe in, and I feel it, I feel better, and I would be happier so it gets your mind start thinking about money as a good thing so this is my first exercise. Change of mind. Step two, find your role model. A lot of people tell me well, gosh there is a thousand yogis, you know yoga teachers in my area or I am just another nutritionist, or another occupational therapist or whatever thank you. We can spend all day finding example on statistics the proof that you should stay on your couch. I challenge my clients to find the role model they admire, and only watch the role models they admire. I am sure you teach that too. Step three make your plans right a lot of people are chanting and oming and journaling and manifesting, and I am doing all kinds of fun things to bring forth their dream, and they forget the part where they have to write down the number they want. And people don’t want to write down the number, and I tell you they don’t want to get on the scale either. People for some reason they don’t want to confront that specific number okay so I didn’t even want to do it either. I remember when I had to write down what’s and what do you want by the time you’re 40? $5 million by the time I am 40. I didn’t want to say that out loud, right? Because it bring [the ball that chicken and brat 0:09:56] energy so you have to write down the number and then not only do you have to write down the steps of the plan to get there. You have to write three or four scenarios of how you’re going to get there not because you’re going to do one of the both scenarios we don’t know right. We fully didn’t have to.
Jason Hartman: How before out or you typically having people write this financial goal for example?
Laurie: It very much depends I would go for a year usually if I am starting with someone six months and a year, but for coaches we go out five years so we’re looking big and long term. It really depends on the person and then what state start coming to us, and definitely most you know most often we have people trained a year out because that’s in the amount of time they can kind of — its enough time you can get something done, but it’s not so far off that its an illusion, okay. So then three to five different scenarios not because you have to do those scenarios per se because it bends your mind to start thinking of resources and actions and believe in what you are saying you want. I remember my coach doing that to me. It blew my mind. One year I argued with her I said I am going to increase my business 10% this year. I was proud of myself. She goes, no double it. Since what are you talking about, double it? That’s crazy. I have never doubled it before. She is like thanks. That’s a nice theory. Have that double it. I said fine double it. Then she said [unintelligible 0:11:19 three to five ways I could double it. And I just — it was a thinking project. It was creative. I had just they would create and think and noodle it out, and be with it, and that’s what I want everybody to do it. Honor your dream that way, right? So that was really fun and we did double that year, very magical. Step four keep promises and keep track okay I don’t care if you fail. Failing feels better than not getting off the couch. This is where all the people who are doing yoga and doing meditation and doing all those wonderful things where you attract your own attention comes in very handy. Start paying attention are you sticking to the plan you made. Are you doing daily talking about your goal to someone? If you are not talking about your business or your goal to other people I promise you’re not getting any near with it so promises must include talking to other human beings about your goal, or about your business, about your career. And then what’s the last step? Dare to do business. I just start to dare people because people are waiting so they have the perfect idea or the perfect resources or the perfect partners or the perfect business plan before they start and I just want them to start because learning is priceless and if you don’t start you are never going to learn, and if you don’t fail you never going to fail how good it feels to be something else off the couch.
Jason Hartman: One of the things I say to people I train all the time is if you want to succeed more often just increase your failure rate.
Jason Hartman: Its just the odds are so in your favor if you’ll just be willing to fail more often.
Laurie: I fail everyday.
Jason Hartman: Absolutely.
Laurie: I risk everyday and I fail everyday.
Jason Hartman: And the other part of it is that the syndrome that is so dangerous the syndrome of getting ready to get ready. The people that never actually do, they never actually dare to do businesses as you call it because they’re constantly getting ready to get ready. They’re always wanting to make sure everything is right. They got to get everything setup. They’ve got to get everything arranged everything figured out.
Laurie: We have a word for that.
Jason Hartman: Life simply doesn’t work that way. Life works with managing the chaos as you move through the process. What’s your word for it?
Laurie: Chicken I love everything you said.
Jason Hartman: That’s the chicken part of it. What’s the brat part of it?
Laurie: The brat is you know the brat when you see the kid who doesn’t want to get out of the pool at the end of the pool time. I don’t want to mom just fived more minutes, that’s how we are with our television show, our social network or e-mail addiction, our love addictions, our food addictions, our everything that we say we don’t have time to start that business or we don’t have time to finish that plan because it’s not right or it could, it could sound like, but my kids I can’t, but my kids, but I have to take care of this person you know there is all different flavors, right? Well, my parents didn’t raise me right. I am not disciplined enough. I am too fat, too young; too old to purple you know there is some list the reasons and usually its not just one. They’re usually I have found approximately seven layers of excuses behind peoples in action or inability to finish the plan and do something so that you get the flavor of the brat.
Jason Hartman: Okay so that’s we covered all five, right?
Jason Hartman: Now tell us about some the exercises. Well, first I have a question before we talk about that. Why do you keep mentioning things like yoga and so forth? What’s the relation?
Laurie: Well, interestingly enough I think you all found me through a yoga elephant journal or some form of yoga post I had made because I am very interested in infiltrating the world of already conscious people of the “spiritually” minded people. People who are trying to make the world better that whole sector of humanity is very interesting to me because I feel like that is a group of people that is part of the kind of solutions I want for the world you know making the world a better place, but is under empowered, under empowered. Very good at using spiritual practices, very good at one thing, good things, but that not effective or powerful and I actually think making money helps with being powerful. I know that might be a kind of controversial thing to say, but I think money does give a person power, right? Where you have money to donate, you get to say what causes you want to give it too. And you have money people treat you differently and so I want and I want that sector much more empowered about their money, and really about having their dreams come true, that’s what is ultimately for because money is just energy. You know it’s not about the money in and of itself.
Jason Hartman: Laurie, tell us about some of the exercises that you do. Your course, your sort of your beginning course, is this the first step people go to a weekend course?
Laurie: That is one of the — and there many way is people can get involved. I do a weekly tele-seminar on Monday is called ‘Wake Up Your Week’. We do weekend courses in New York Boston, Laguna Beach, LA, San Francisco, Florida all different kinds of places around the country and essentially or private coaching you know some people just come right in, and get a private coach, so but wherever you come in you are always going to start with the dreaming exercises. You are always going to start with having to articulate in a very juicy sensory way and if you know anything about the law of attraction u know how important your senses are articulating what it is you want is in and of itself upsetting to the chicken and the brat, right? They don’t like to say. They don’t like to say.
Jason Hartman: And you have an offer for people listening for a discount on a weekend course, right?
Jason Hartman: And you are going to give that out later on the show?
Jason Hartman: Just out of curiosity though how much does the weekend course cost?
Laurie: Up until now and up through July 1st, it has been $400, and it is going up to $600 on July 1st we just could not afford.
Jason Hartman: And just so we get an idea how many people were out there at that course? How many people attend usually?
Laurie: In New York approximately 50 people attend. In other places around the country between 12 and 30, but they’re getting bigger and bigger which is why its just and we always have people do about 15 pages of homework before they do coaching of any kind because we get to know you. We are not slapping the method on you. We are talking directly to you and your issues so again because that’s so cumbersome, and now they are getting so large hence the slight price increase.
Jason Hartman: Right, okay and so that’s course, and you are going to have a special offer so listeners stay tune for that. You will have a special offer here toward the end. And what do you do in the course. I mean tell us about some of the exercises are these are sort of like that you know and I hate to make comparisons, but I just will. I did life spring for example many years ago and loved it by the way, but is this life spring, the forum and things like that, is it experiential learning or what what’s involved in the course, what’s are some of the exercises?
Laurie: That’s a great question, and I love experiential learning by the way. One way in which it’s different than some of those courses is it ends at 4 or 5 o’clock in the afternoon so.
Jason Hartman: Yeah not at midnight okay.
Laurie: Kind of remarkable what we get out in the weekend and what ends in 4:00 or 5:00 we are very proud of that, so it is a crash course so we absolutely basically condense our entire method into a weekend two days from 9:00 to 4:000 or 5:00. In New York its 5:00 because we have more people, but we break into smaller groups so essentially we move you through the entire method and give you a taste of the whole thing so from dreaming to excuse busting to being able to write a good promising and consequence for yourself and learn how to get yourself to keep a promise to yourself to working on telling the truth. What we believe make good communication that’s all day one. I am just going to give you the syllabus, and then day two we go into more what makes who you are. What personality traits you have? Which ones you want to keep? Which ones you want to discard? What’s the relationship with your lineage your family? Who made you? Who raised you? And then all the things that have ever happened to in your life and how that has shaped you and sort of beginning to reinterpret that so you may that some of that may sound like things that happen in other weekend courses for sure. There is some experiential nature. I mean you will find people crying in our courses from time to time, but it’s a lot of practical work you are sitting and writing and rewriting, and work shopping and talking and noodling out restructuring your own life. So yes a little I would say yes a little experiential and fact that you are going to feel feelings for sure and you are going to go through memories for sure, but it’s much more — it’s a very straightforward intellectual material as well like we are teaching your way to thank and you are applying it.
Jason Hartman: And you say there are 40 exercises in the weekend course?
Laurie: No 40, I am estimating 40 for the basic method. The weekend covers our main staple you know eight. But you are getting a lot of teaching in that, and it’s a lot of informational conceptual conversation if you don’t like to listen you would hate it honestly people who are kinesthetic learners may not belong in that room because its not — I have been to many workshops myself and there are some that are like you are up, out of your seat, running around, your — you are not going to walk on cold, you are not going to break bricks its just none of that if you are really having a deep intellectual inquiry about your life and digging deep into your own hearts and you’re going to get a lot of what you know personal attention that you’re going to a be one of the things that I also think is so unique and special is that you will have written 15 pages about your life and your dreams and there is going to be a human being in that room who read that, and its looking at you and going you know. Here is what I think about that so that it’s special still that we get to do that.
Jason Hartman: Yeah okay so tell us about some of the exercises you in general love for the whole method what you do whatever you want to talk about maybe something someone can use or ponder to help improve their life I mean is certainly it’s better to be there it’s better to be engaged with it with an actual coach of —
Laurie: Of what you do and little of that.
Jason Hartman: — what you know and give us some do it yourself tips.
Laurie: Well, again I am also going to recommend starting with the dream statements. If you can do a dream statement it’s like putting the address into your GPS. If there is no address in the GPS, the car does not know where to go so don’t even bother with the rest if you can’t articulate how you want to feeling your relationship, how you want to what you want to see when you look at that bank account, how you want to feel about looking at that bank account, why do want to do that business, why do you want to have that partnership with that person, so that’s the first thing is get yourself to write down your dreams and we tell people to write them the present tense why do you think that is.
Jason Hartman: Because the mind perceives them as already being achieved.
Laurie: I knew you would know that.
Jason Hartman: Sorry.
Laurie: Yeah exactly of course.
Jason Hartman: I have taken advanced class already.
Laurie: I bet your people understand what I’m talking about, but the question is will they do anything about so first dare to dream, dare to articulate it, putting in the preset tense, get yourself to feel it, get yourself vulnerable, and give yourself goose bumps, and then we call it you write down everything in your head about why you can’t have it. Now, a lot of new majors think that that’s bad energy. I don’t want to say and I don’t want to go down there, and I don’t want to which I say too bad. We are going. If you can’t go into the dark you’re not going to come out to the way so let’s see what’s in that bar? Its like let’s see what’s in there. Let’s look at the chunks and see what has made you sick and really go to town like say the truth, say all that negative stuff, and then we do this beautiful — we actually color code the purge, right? We actually look for okay where’s the chicken? Where is the brat? Where is the bad logic? Where is the message from your parents? Where is that trait you need to have work on? Where is that conversation you never had and we literally make a color-coded list of what you can stop bellyaching about, right? Because some of that stuff is ridiculous and you can see it once you’re right out and then there is something do about the other seven things and now here you are with a plan of what you need to do about the real problem then this is very hard to do without a coach I have to admit. But developing the appropriate promises and consequences so when I had this conundrums of wanting to double my business and I really needed to I developed a rule for myself that I will make three contacts a day like reach out to three people and talk about the business before noon, or else I don’t remember what there is some, something like I couldn’t have dessert that night. You know some form of consequence that had me pay attention and then everyday I didn’t want to do it, right? I waited till like 11:50 which is so stupid because after I did even if I failed, or even if I didn’t get any answers. I still felt great about myself because I was in integrity I was doing something in alignment with my dream so everybody ends up with a contact from it. Everybody ends up with conversations they have to design and have. Everybody ends up with an exercise promise. Everybody ends up with food promises. Everybody ends up with sleep you know, it’s the basic stuff that if you would just that stuff in everything would get better, so that’s the exercises I can recommend to anyone at any stage, but then there is fun advanced ones like 10 reasons why you should have more money and finding your role model than doing interviews of people, you know six month plans and year-long plan different fun things we do depending on your specific needs or circumstance. Does that answer?
Jason Hartman: Yeah absolutely, sounds good. Well, hey give out your website and tell people about the special offer you have for them.
Laurie: Okay great so go to www.handelgroup.com, and you could find all about our corporate world and our education world and our private offerings and a million workshops and tele seminars if you want to do our flagship course or weekend course anywhere in the country, we invite you to come as our guest with the $100 off discount. And we will put this up on the website of course for you where you can get while you are hearing this, this podcast, but the code is going to be CWS. It stands for Creating Wealth S what’s the S.
Jason Hartman: Show.
Laurie: Creating Wealth Show, right? CWS.
Jason Hartman: My main show, Creating Wealth Show CWS.
Laurie: CWS 100 CCC, so that stands for Creating Wealth at Show $100 and CCC coaching crash course, but that would get you if you put that in your register you will automatically get a $100 discount.
Jason Hartman: Any more thoughts before you go Laurie on how you see like that sort of do-gooder mentality not wanting to create you know enough abundance for themselves or having that holier than thou sort of cocky bratty attitude of I am above money you know or that type of thing.
Laurie: Well, I am calling BS on that that’s part of my mission as a longtime idealistic and do-gooder myself who definitely looked my nose down at wealth for a long time, and have sort of come had a reckoning with, with that now that I have children and big, very big dreams that include having power to change the world so I think you know what I run into is these very noble feelings and people about not wanting to care about money, right? And the problem is you lose out of all of the wonderful feelings of being able to create a game in life or create a challenge in life and win at it all the fun of being able to have things that you won, all the fun of being of give things that you want to give, all the fun of being able to have power in places where you didn’t before and so I am truly trying to show you the twist, right? That maybe just maybe if you are one of people who thinks having money is something you shouldn’t care about that there might be some fear there. There might be some ignorance there for sure, right? Or from not wanting to deal some bratiness or even some form of being better than may be someone in your family may be someone in your past may be just better than a subset of humanity that you’re judging, and I just want to know that’s not turning out very well. That is not going to end up making you happy and its not going to end up giving you the legacy that you really want to leave for future generations so that’s the twist I’m letting you in, and its for your really good, and mainly also because I just, I need partners in helping to make the world better. We need a lot, a lot of people, a lot of hands on deck to work with this world that we are slowly destroying. You know we need a lot of people just be like they have the power to make change and so I am begging people to get out of their own way, and start saying what they want and going for it and achieving it.
Jason Hartman: Right great good stuff. Well, Laurie Gerber thanks so much for joining us today. I appreciate it and I hope listeners will take advantage of the offer you gave them.
Laurie: Wonderful. Thanks for your time.
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The Speaking of Wealth Team